I have been listening to a soundtrack called ‘Wes Anderson’ from a patronizing album, ‘ Happiness is Easy’. I want it to be the background score in my life. So try to listen to it while you read the post.
I have had a solid week of no drama; no significant sickness, fights, or firefighting. I can already feel energy collect, baby wings sprout. I went to the gym for 8 days straight. I got a bird water and food feeder, took care of a friend & organized my jewelry even more. I started working on my portfolio; 3 years too late. I lost my favorite earphones & didn’t cry. I made a birthday gift wishlist, bought pins for the soft board, and got my study table fixed. So now it doesn’t threaten to fall apart as I work. I went to Mangrul & danced with R & babyR. Danced, in consciousness, in full view of people. ‘Don’t take yourself so seriously’ is so much easier when life lets you. I got screen-protection glasses because my eyes have been hurting (note climb in Maslow’s hierarchy?)
Mumma is making summer food; things that include raw mangos & preservation for when we hibernate. I indulge. I made dadi make my favorite Rajasthani food last weekend. We ate all day; while eating we broke into songs. R did & we joined in one-by-one till the whole room was singing. ‘Badal, bijli, chandan, paani jaisa apna pyaar’ baby R babbled along.
One day when I picked her up from school, she said “Dida, I don’t want to be a police lady, I don’t want to be a doctor & give Mumma injections. I want to be a rickshaw.” Not a girl that drives one, but a rickshaw itself! I know what she means. We can be anything, rickshaws, birds, rivers as long as the people we love are healthy & happy, for most parts at least.
I know this feeling is fleeting, but I want to stay in this bath till the water is still warm, wearing my now more organized earrings, using my non-reflective glasses to type this on my now-sturdy table while drinking juice. I feel like a character from baby R’s story “There was a big jungle by the side of the road. It was dark & scary. A horse who wears clothes walked into it one day. The hunter was sleeping in his warm fuzzy blanket”