Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. – Albert Camus
I don’t think I talk about this moment in my life as much as I think it deserves to be talked about. I used to be clinically depressed. My depression medicines had just started to kick in when I realized that they made me think all weird. They made my mind feel blank; empty like a hall must feel when people get wedded there and leave. I freaked out, went to my therapist, and demanded to be taken off the pills.
And this is the moment I need you to take notice of: My therapist looked at me in the eye and said, more confidently than reassuringly, “Prachi, this is how normal minds are supposed to feel.” He explained that I had felt anxious and uncontrolled over-thinking for so long that it felt like the default human state of being. It was about to stop now. I was going to be a new think-when-you-must-and-possibly-without-anxiety me! While I made peace with this new state of being, I remember feeling unadulterated joy at eating decent pasta, listening to a good song, seeing a bright-colored flower. Unadulterated, did you hear? The world changed that day, at that moment. I have never taken Happiness for granted since. And don’t get me wrong, these things don’t get fixed in a moment. You work on it, every day, relentlessly. It’s a tremendous effort, you heard Albert.