I shifted into my new “home” today.
If you find me a 24-year-old as scared of change as I am, I will buy her wine. Anyway, I was having a very Bollywood heroine time in the morning. I could not figure out how to turn the shower on, I couldn’t even find the geyser. The mattress felt too hard. It took me so long to find the plug point (of which there is only one in the room) that I had to skip breakfast. But then I rose to the occasion and got to the office on time. While in the office, I worried about going back. When I came home, the house buzzed with good music and I was so tired the mattress didn’t bother me too much. As for the rest of the problems that I had with this place, well, I know that builds character or whatever.
The movie of our heroine’s life has moved ahead a step or two. She can handle the geyser and the shower effortlessly now. But if you are thinking that it’s that part of Wake Up Sid where he flips the egg perfectly and the audience rejoices, stop. No! Not so soon. Our heroine spent 15 minutes in the morning trying to work the water filter. When she failed, she video-called her father, who after a while gave up too. (Lesson: always turn the knob, the one at the side that looks useless. Always) Too late for breakfast, she put 2 slices of bread with a slice of cheese in a box. On her way to the office, she would buy two tomatoes. She was going to be the first one she knew to make breakfast in the office. (Lesson: Don’t put tomatoes uncovered in a bag full of books and stationery. They get squished. On. The. Books.) Plot twist: Heroine does not know that there is no knife in the office. (Lesson: BUY MAGGI)
You make the worst decisions when you are sad or very happy. So be aware. Do not ambitiously start making pasta if you come back home happy from the office one day. Just watch a movie instead of being stuck in the kitchen till 11:30 pm stirring and trying to damage control the spoiled pasta sauce. I have stalked all of your Instagram accounts and seen your “easy to make” photogenic dishes. So while you are at this ‘living life like you found the cheat code’ business, see if you can buy me office-appropriate clothes maybe.