I once fell in love with a boy for the way he hugged me. His hugs felt like melting chocolate, its smell, and everything like I feel after having 2
glasses of potent Bloody Marys, like one feels while watching sunsets.
M, when she saw me hugging a guy I met for the first time asked how I am
comfortable doing so. We thought about it before coming to the conclusion that I am just made that way. I am the person who always hugs the dude holding the ‘free hugs’ placard, twice. I do this while being mindful of people’s personal space, of course. I do not hug, kiss, nuzzle H for she hates it. But for who let me, I am the monkey from Harry Harlow’s experiment. I had one hell of a happy day last week when kaka gave me a pappie in bed before leaving for work. I let my workout go when babyr panda-hugged me. I hug the cleaner from Mocha when she tells me that she works 2 shifts so her daughter can be a nurse. I piggyback cousins, sit in R’s laps, and give kisses on the heads of friends if I approach them from the back as they wait for me at a restaurant table. I give unmiserly amounts of pappies (pecks on cheeks) and use them as a verb. My favorite cheeks to pappie are S’s, for they are chubby and go up in a smile every time they are approached. I enjoy rubbing my cheeks against people’s, ask the boy. I may even use biting as a way of showing love (you can judge, but you can’t change me, so why bother?) If I am ever left in a party of the unhuggables, I can be found outside the brewery, fumbling to hug a stray dog.
In this household, I live with a father who taps your back if you hug him,
making me want to yell “the hug is over when I want it to be over”, a puppy who thinks hugging is basically strangling, a mum, who only recently converted from being the woman who pushed me away when I hugged her after she returned from you-know-where, to accepting pappies, who never know physical love growing up, who may have licked R’s cheek to show affection; and R, who has come to accommodate my hug, but not without making a face, who just today said, “I don’t believe in pappies”.
The quarantine is going great. Thanks for asking.
