Pranav’s story
My first ever memory of Gulab Jamun is of my Nani, I called her Aai, making them for me when I visited her during my summer vacation. She made them for me every vacation.
I have never had such Jamuns since she stopped making them.
She made them the best. Perfectly fried and what colour!
I am a fan of Gulab Jamuns. I’ve had it at different places. They often have an undercooked core, sometimes they are slimy n wet inside. Aai’s were never undercooked or soggy. She was just perfect.
Every time I eat some I am reminded of her Gulab Jamuns.
We lost her to Corona in July.
I thought I should quit eating Gulab Jamuns, but she wouldn’t like that. So I have decided to not eat them for a year.
My experience cooking, eating and feeding Gulab Jamuns
I learnt that:
- the consistency of the Gulab Jamun batter is key
- Deep frying pans help the shape
- The consistency of the sugar dip can change the color of the gulab jamuns
- That Pista, when cut into horizontal sections, looks like hearts
- R hates, with a passion, the idea of Pista sprinkled over Gulab Jamun. To her, they become elite, Bisleri pani-puri like and lose their approachable hominess as soon as touched by Pistas.
–
This one was the toughest to make; not because the procedure is hard, it’s not, but because of the weight of making something that carries big love.
Procedure-wise too, I have heard my family fuss about it. Mummy wanted me to make the Gulab Jamuns under her guidance because otherwise, she was sure I would ruin them. It was hard to ward her off. I knew to manage this on my own. But while I started making them, Dadi joined me, giving instructions, making amends to the recipe, making fun of me. I didn’t listen to her.
The first 2 gulab jamuns disintegrated while frying. My heart sank to the bottom of my being. But Dadi came to my rescue. She told me how to improve the process and more importantly, she said she would kick whoever-wrote-that-god-forsaken-recipe’s ass for me. We rescued the Gulab Jamuns.
While my heart rose to its normal position in my body, I realized that I have trouble letting go of control. I have to be in control of Mumma’s treatment, of Papa’s well being, of the general atmosphere at home. If someone were to take the reign from me, I would still be a fly on the wall, ready to swoop in when needed (when they fail). But here I saw the perks of letting go. It is in the small reenactments of big issues that you can start making the changes you want to see in yourself.
I made the second batch of Gulab Jamun all on my own. I did not measure the ingredients by scale but by gut and got them right.
The day I messaged Pranav after making the Gulab Jamuns, he told me was the month anniversary of her death.
Thank you for making me cook with dadi, for teaching me to seek help and sharing Aai with me for a while Pranav.
1953 – 2020