I am alone at home. Mummy is in Pune. Papa is visiting a site. Ruchi is at the office. Goldie is playing dead because mummy is in Pune. I can’t read my book for it makes me sad. To take advantage of this situation I did not bathe, did not change out of my green pajamas, ate only chutney for lunch & I did not fold the 6 different blankets I used during the night. What is this season? Can we decide on a temperature, please? Mummy suggested I spend quality time with the ‘other’ religion-ed virtual boyfriend I keep convincing her I am dating. For the first time, she got his name right.
I tried to watch TV. I can’t watch a show because I still feel raw & sore from watching Bojack Horseman. I don’t feel like I can commit to a movie, so I was stuck with 16 music channels playing Bollywood songs. Now I am up to date on all things Bollywood, have seen some nepotism bred guys do garba in front of the Eiffel Tower, revised all Madhuri/Karishma Kapoor songs & know who wore them what at their famous wedding. I developed some ill-founded opinions on the way. Here are some: Karishma looks her best in Dil Toh Pagal hai, Salam should do roles for his age & people should stop making Bollywood actors popular for doing, what is, at the end of the day, their job. Maybe start at not watching the likes of Koffee with Karan which do a bad job of interviewing people. & honestly don’t care what happens in others’ personal lives, unless it’s related to structural/direct violence.
After spending next to no energy in forming these opinions & doing nothing about them, I decided to jump on my parents’ bed while wearing her clothes & drinking his alcohol, which did not work out because they locked their cupboards before leaving. So I jumped on their bed thinking up virtual scenarios: plot for a novel, questions to ask Arundhati Roy if she sits next to me in a flight, 2 wishes if a genie emerges from my next bottle of cheap wine. I discussed these thoughts with my upstairs neighbor’s 4-year-old through our balconies. I told him I would write a song about today called ‘Restless’ if only I knew to write songs. He said he would buy a Hyundai Elantra with a reversing camera if only his father would let him drive!