• Mumma has forever used Emotional Blackmailing as her primary negotiation / parental strategy. Her favorite “I will not take my medicines if you…” used to nudge me into panic 2 years ago. But the new the if-you-can’t-beat-them-join-them-P returns it with a “I am going to go get pregnant” (and No, I shall not be getting married)
  • Mummy found an empty bottle of Madira (cheap) wine in my room and got furious. She likes to bring it up now and again, never softly. DID YOU DRINK THIS? ARE YOU NOT ASHAMED OF YOURSELF? to which I always say “I am. But I can’t afford Glenfiddich right now. If you just give me access to papa’s stash, none of us would have to be ashamed”
  • Every time I see papa drink his expensive scotch whiskey, I tell him his stomach is going to hurt.
  • I offered papa my good Gin and told him that’s what good friends do– They share.
  • Mumma brings up one of my exes so often I had to do something about it. We know a lot of facts about Pedophilia now.

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