Dear P,
Although we have a love-hate relationship, that seems to lean towards hate more often, I don’t want you to think I don’t love you. I do. I don’t indulge in it because I wasn’t taught the difference between self-love and narcissism as a child. That is on me, not you.
There are things I like, sorry love, about you because I have known you for long. I have seen you be mocked for your English grammar, for your drawing skills and the money you don’t make. I love that you are trying to do better; to read, write, draw and find joy in your work better. You try not to run away from uncomfortable situations, to apologise if someone tells you you hurt them and that you take your joy seriously. I can’t believe you managed to shift back home and are better for it. I like that you try to do things inspite of knowing that it may embarrass you, like complementing strangers or asking someone a ‘stupid’ question because you know you stand to gain more from it than you may lose by embarrassment. My favourite thing about you is that you harbour hope that people are malleable, it helps you not give up on them; that you believe people are good, it’s their situation that makes them sour. I like that you try to empathise.
What i am really buying time to say is that I love you for whoever you are. You are a good person, your situation makes you sour sometimes. And I love you as much then as I do now. I’ll even try to express.
