Random advice/a guiding principle: pick the right people and everything else will take care of itself.

Before my very first job’s salary negotiation meeting, I called mama, let’s call him N, looking for words of wisdom like I usually do when in unfamiliar terrain. And while I expect him to affirm what I was going to do anyway, sometimes he says stuff that is perspective-altering. This time, I was expecting him to tell me to stand my ground, use a particular negotiation technique from the Game Theory, remember that women get paid less, etc. but he simply said “if you are working with the right kind of people, these things figure themselves out in the long run.” This comes with a massive amount of privilege. To not worry about how much you make right now is a privilege; to not mind how much you hate this project, have a social reach and trust in politics is all privilege I could afford, not to mention a family to fall back on. So I went ahead and took the deal I got without having to push too hard. Soon I would leave a secure job because I would realize I wasn’t working for good people, against the advice of the same N. Luckily for me, in the future, I would bump into someone I would respect and whose work would depend on principles and joy. It would be one of those things you don’t realize is possible till you see it, that widens your mind to make the original idea look like shrieked pants. We would start working with more people like us; do check-in and check-out activities where I would hear stories of trying to make time to work out, of cooking to relax, listening to audiobooks, reading non-fiction; things I could neither relate to nor imagine myself doing. Company maketh a woman. It’s been 2 years of working with them and now I cook, exercise, and listen to non-fiction audiobooks to calm down. Recently, seeing that I am not doing well, they took up my work so I could take a break; and to my apology replied “if you feel guilt for something like this, we have failed as a team” My just-out-of-college brain had not fathomed then the implications of working with the right people. So let me vouch for it: if you can afford to, work with people you respect, who respect you, even if work/money seems demotivating at the moment. You should grow and find joy in your work. You deserve that. Company maketh a woman, in more ways than I give it credit for. This woman now cooks to relax, tries to make time for exercise, and listens to non-fiction audiobooks to calm down. I love the things I picked up from these people through osmosis. Recently, knowing I am not doing well, they took up my work so I could take a break; and to my apology replied “if you ever feel like you must feel guilt for something like this, we would have failed as a team” My just-out-of-college brain had not fathomed then the non-economic implications of working with the right kind of people. My present self is merely privileged to be here where I can vouch for something like this. So if you can afford it, work with people you respect and who respect you, even if work seems demotivating at the moment. You should grow from your work and not just economically. You deserve that.